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Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Perfected Release Day Book Blitz!

HAPPY JULY MY FELLOW BOOKDICTIVES! I hope y'all are having a good week. If you're like me, you're staying indoors and perfecting sunless tanning (who knew the term "pearly whites" could be applied to more than just your teeth lol) by reading, watching the World Cup (USAUSAUSAUSAUSA!), and enjoying all the fabulous summer sales on pretty much everything under the sun. 

But here's something that won't cost you any money whatsoever: A book blitz of Perfected, which is a YA dystopian Cinderella story from one of my favorite publishers, Entangled Teen. You get a signed book AND a necklace if you win. It's totally worth it because, well, read this synopsis!


Perfected
Release Date: 07/01/14
Entangled Teen

Summary from Goodreads:
Perfection comes at a price.

As soon as the government passed legislation allowing humans to be genetically engineered and sold as pets, the rich and powerful rushed to own beautiful girls like Ella. Trained from birth to be graceful, demure, and above all, perfect, these “family companions” enter their masters’ homes prepared to live a life of idle luxury.

Ella is happy with her new role as playmate for a congressman’s bubbly young daughter, but she doesn’t expect Penn, the congressman’s handsome and rebellious son. He’s the only person who sees beyond the perfect exterior to the girl within. Falling for him goes against every rule she knows…and the freedom she finds with him is intoxicating.

But when Ella is kidnapped and thrust into the dark underworld lurking beneath her pampered life, she’s faced with an unthinkable choice. Because the only thing more dangerous than staying with Penn’s family is leaving…and if she’s unsuccessful, she’ll face a fate far worse than death.

For fans of Keira Cass’s Selection series and Lauren DeStefano’s Chemical Garden series, Perfected is a chilling look at what it means to be human, and a stunning celebration of the power of love to set us free, wrapped in a glamorous—and dangerous—bow.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18630496-perfected?ac=1

Praise for Perfected:
“Compelling, imaginative, and unique. I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough!”

— Mary Lindsey, author of Shattered Souls

Still not sold? 
Here's an excerpt:
I sat in my room on the couch near the window staring out at the last bit of gold staining the sky. I couldn’t place the feeling growing inside me. It was as if the flavor of Ruby’s butterscotch and Penn’s music still lingered on my tongue, a taste that was both bittersweet and totally divine.
This place was more beautiful than I ever could have imagined, but it was more confusing, too. It felt as if a conversation was going on around me, but I could only hear bits and pieces of it, and now I was trying desperately to string those bits together to make a sentence that I could actually understand.
The room was growing dark, but I didn’t feel like turning on the bright light of the chandelier that hung at the end of my bed. In the shadows, I almost became a part of the room.
Miss Gellner had always admonished us to go to bed by nine o’clock each night. “Sleep feeds beauty,” she always used to say. But I wasn’t at all tired.
Just as I was about to get up from the couch to crawl into bed, there was a small tap at the door. Before I had a chance to respond, the door cracked open, letting the yellow light from the hallway spill into the room. The Congressman’s large body stood silhouetted in the doorframe.
“Ella?” he called, poking his head into the room.
I sat up straighter on the couch and arranged a content expression on my face.
“Please, come in,” I said, pressing down the tremble in my voice.
The Congressman strode into the room and sat beside me on the couch. The light was nearly gone from the sky and the only bit of illumination in the room was the yellow rectangle of light in the doorway. Sitting in the dark next to him felt too intimate, and I wished I had at least turned on a lamp.
“How was your first full day in your new house?” the Congressman asked.
“It was lovely.” My face flushed at the lie, thinking of all the things that had happened during the day that I knew I shouldn’t mention. Had he heard about that woman, Rhonda, and her crazy rant? Or about my swim in the pool? Or the forbidden piece of candy Ruby had given to me? I feared all of my secrets were written on my face as clearly as the words in Ruby’s book of fairytales, but the easy look on his face suggested he couldn’t see them.
“I brought you a little something,” the Congressman said.
I hadn’t noticed the small box he held until he placed it in my hands. The box was flat and rectangular, covered in soft, white satin.
“Go on, open it,” he said.
I cracked the lid and stared down at the gold chain that glittered ever so softly in the dim light. On the end of it was a round pendant. I lifted it up and held it towards the light so that I could see that the gold pendant was encircled with a ring of shining diamonds. Inside something was engraved in loopy script.
“It’s your name,” he said, reaching out to run his finger over the lettering. “And on the other side it has our address and phone number.” He cupped the side of my face in his hand. “Let me put it on you.”
My hands shook and I turned away from him, lifting the hair from off my back. The scooped back of my nightgown left me feeling bare, and without my hair to cover me a chill brought goose bumps to my skin.
The Congressman reached his large arms around my body so the cold metal of the pendant rested across my collarbone.
“Now you’ll never forget where you belong,” he whispered next to my ear.
I reached down and touched the front of the pendant. “It’s beautiful,” I said, “Thank you for thinking of me.”
“You’re easy to think about, Ella.”
My name sounded peculiar on his lips.
His hand still rested against the bare skin of my shoulder, but he didn’t attempt to move it. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips lightly against my cheek.
When I raised my eyes, the Congressman’s wife was standing in the doorway. In one fluid motion the Congressman removed his hand from my shoulder and scooted away from me.
“Elise, what wonderful timing,” he said, standing. “I just gave Ella her new tag.”
He stood and flipped on the light to the chandelier, casting the room with such bright, yellow light that I had to shield my eyes. Even so, I didn’t miss the strange look that passed across the Congressman’s wife’s face.
“Wonderful,” she said, walking across the room to where I sat. “Let’s have a look.”
She only gave the pendant a passing glance before turning to her husband.
“It’s late. Don’t you think we should let Ella get to sleep?”
The Congressman nodded, smiling at his wife. “Goodnight, Love,” he called behind him. A moment later the two of them closed the door, leaving me alone under the bright lights of the chandelier.

STILL NOT SOLD???? You must be made of glass because this is, like, swoon worthy. But fineeeeee, here's a Rafflecopter giveaway. ;)

About the Author:
Kate Jarvik Birch is a visual artist, author, playwright, daydreamer, and professional procrastinator. As a child, she wanted to grow up to be either a unicorn or mermaid. Luckily, being a writer turned out to be just as magical. Her essays and short stories have been published in literary journals including Indiana Review and Saint Ann’s Review. She lives in Salt Lake City, Utah with her husband and three kids. To learn more visit www.katejarvikbirch.com


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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Threats of Sky and Sea by Jennifer Ellison

Book: Threats of Sky and Sea by Jennifer Ellison
Rating: 4/5 stars
Bookdictive Categorization: Good ol' YA-FantaSea with no death triangles of lurve. 

I KNOW, DOESN'T THAT TITLE SOUND COOL? 
But then I feel abashed at giving ToSaS 4 out of 5 stars. 

A 4 from me isn't a bad thing. It means I really enjoyed the book, and will immediately become a fan on GR and go out of my way to send the author a 'thank you for taking the time to write this!' sort of thing. It means I'll add the next book to my TBR, and shelve it as "can you please be published already." But it doesn't mean that I am willing to overlook all flaws within. Ergo me reading this: 

First chapter: "I don't know about you yet..."
Third chapter: "Okay, I can get with this!"
Halfway through: "I AM SO GIVING THIS 5 STARS AND STAYING UP ALL NIGHT TO READ THIS BECAUSE CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP!"
Upon completion: Well, that's where I'm at right now. I just finished it, but I know why my rating dropped a star like one falling from the sky.
And let me tell you, there aren't many. Flaws, I mean. I GAVE IT 4 STARS AND FINISHED IT IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS. That's a good thing! Even 3 stars isn't bad, but this book is NOT 3 star status.

So what went wrong?? 
It's a pacing thing. That's all it is. 
The book went so smoothly for 80% of it. I admit, parts were a little rushed, like when the MC Bree and her dad are taken captive and forced to travel over two weeks ON FOOT to the Egrian Kingdom. There's also this gnarly description of what they eat that makes me gag even now. *shudder* But the book kept its pacing up until the end. The entire book is from Bree's perspective, and because the book is mostly her internal musings and not dialogue, the pretense of suspense is kept up. I like voices like this! I wish there was just a little more description, but I'll get to that in a second.
Anyway, here's the long story short: There's these people called Elementals, who posses elemental magic. There's an corrupt king who forces Elementals to swear fealty to him so he can use them for his armies. Bree has lived a quiet life as a barmaid with her dad for 16 years, and then
***insert montage***

--she's in the king's castle watching her dad get thrown in the dungeons for being a deserter to his childhood bff, the king. Oh yeah, and she finds out that her dad is a duke and has lied to Bree for her entire life.
Here's where the book really becomes interesting. Most of the book is around Bree struggling to survive without her father near her side. She befriends the handsome prince, and slowly befriends the bitchy betrothed princess (I LOVE WHEN BITCHY SIDE CHARACTERS REVEAL THEIR WEAKNESSES AND YOU DISCOVER THEY'RE THE GOOD GUYS!)


Up until the last chapter, this book packs an exciting and fast punch. This being YA fantasy, Bree of course has hidden magical abilities. She has to keep trying to unravel the mysteries surrounding her father to truly find out who/what she is.

So, this ending. I was not impressed. You know that fast pace I talked about before? The ending is fast, but not in a good way. The climactic conclusion with its obligatory cliffhanger ending falls a bit flat. There's no long battle, and the henchwoman to the evil king DOES NOT GET AWAY. You're not supposed to kill off one of the main bad guys in the first book!!!!!! SUCH FRUSTRATION. With the lukewarm battle scene, my fingers are crossed that the next book will spend a lot more time on Bree and Company training/fighting/describing hardships/hopefully going through deserts because we all know I love a good desert-trekking scene/romance/friendships. And that, my dear readers, is why I give this four stars. Because even with the mehhhhhh ending, there's a lot to look forward to. When you feel attachment to a book, you want to read the next one because the first one leaves you wanting more. And my darling bookdictives, I. WANT. MORE.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Honey Queen by Christina Mercer


Book: Honey Queen by Christina Mercer
Rating: 2.5/5 stars
Bookdictive Categorization: I'm honestly not even sure.



FUN FACT: I have a huge folder of gifs that I save for my blog. However, since my review this week is for Honey Queen, I had neither honey nor bee themed gifs. Time for my Handy Dandy Google Image Search Engine!
It would appear that Honey Queen is a character in MarioKart 7 AND One Piece [though two separate characters]. 

It's like playing a messed up Hot or Not game. 

Moving on!
This book. It's not going to be added to my 2014 Bookdictive Beach Reads list.
I didn't hate it. I didn't banish it to Hiatus Hawaii. There were parts I liked. I promise!
And sure, maybe I found the cover moderately disturbing, but I can appreciate how it sort of relates to the book (the crying part, not the crying honey part. Can you imagine? Ew, I'd hate to have honey coming out of my eyes).

But...there's this one theme that gets thrown in your face. Then it repeatedly gets thrown in your face, until bees stop being the focus of the book and something else takes control. It prevents me from giving this book more than 2.5 stars. Please refer to #1 in the list below.

Spoiler-iffic Comprehensive Honey Queen List of WTF
Be advised that you should avert your eyes, lest they be filled with honey spoilers.
1) Sex plays a HUGE role in this. 

There's a curse, and since this is YA, that's actually the norm. The curse part. Not the sex part. Want to label this as NA? NOPE, SORRY, because she's 16 when the book starts, and even though her 17th birthday happens at some point in the book, she still falls under the YA category. NA, if I recall correctly, features adults of the 18-29 range in adult situations. The main character is 16/17, SO FORGIVE ME FOR NOT EXPECTING SEX TO BE MENTIONED.
deeeeeeep breath 
Be not deceived: She's not actually doing the deed; but part of the curse requires her to get it on just so she can conceive a daughter. Still, the second I learned this, I was disturbed. 
 1a) Even more disturbing were the choice quotes like, "His tongue teases mine until the lower half of my body is a river rushing out of control." 
WHAT THE ACTUAL BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING NIGHTMARE IS THIS?!?!! WHO WRITES THAT?? I'm not a prude. I read NA, romance, etc. But that reads like bad fanfiction. Bad, gross fanfiction. It's so ewwwwww that I almost want to laugh. That has to be one of THE worst quotes I've ever pulled from a book I'm reviewing. 

2) The curse itself is just weird. 
I actually thought the mythology was kind of cool since creating mythology is just plain hard to do, but there are plot holes: If the curse was so easy to break, why was she the first one to bother looking for a reason? She may be the Honey Queen, but it's been centuries. CENTURIES. Someone else had to have looked into this, right?? I also can't really grasp why her mom went bee-crazy and offed herself. Why didn't her grandma go bee-crazy like her mom? 
3) Her grandma pressures the hell out of her to get it on with a terminally ill guy named Boyd. While this is kind of ingenious (since the father of the conceived daughter dies when said daughter is born), it's also pretty twisted. But I don't think it's done with the intent of being morbid-twistosity. I think it was more of a way to support an unbelievable curse side effect. Anyway, spoiler alert, turns out the sick guy is GAY and the CURSE DOESN'T WORK ON HIM.
4) I applaud gay characters not being written in the "oh snap boo! Girlfriend go get yo man!" kind of style that YA authors tend to stick to. So Boyd, the sidekick or whatever he is, didn't bother me in that sense. What bothered me was how he was still totally willing to sleep with her and, if the curse doesn't seduce him to her, how was he going to get it up???? He isn't buying what she's selling! He's just so nonchalant accepting of all this.
 4a) I also HATE how he becomes healthy but has to rely on magic honey for the rest of his life. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of being free? Plot hole, maybe, but Boyd gets his own section.

I really can't rationalize this one out. I can't even launch into how much Sam, the love interest, bothered me. This wasn't DNF, and I wasn't filled with disgust (except for that awful quote earlier) after reading it. But this wasn't one of the better ones out there. The writing wasn't sophomoric, but it was also not what I was expecting. In the end, I'd be willing to try another book by this author--perhaps this was a sting and a miss? Ugh, that was a pretty bad one. ;)

***this book was delivered graciously to me by the publisher through NetGalley, and in no way influences my review***

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Belle Epoque by Elizabeth Ross

HEY GUYS, I know I haven't posted a review in awhile but that doesn't mean I haven't been reading! School started again and I always get super stressed out in the first week. Pluuuuus, I felt a little burnt after reading King Cave (review to come once I figure out how to create separate posts under Bookdictive After Dark because Blogger is being a butt and won't allow me to). So I took a couple of weeks off. :D BUT I AM BACK, and with a five star review!!!
Disclaimer: I have been to Canada many times, and on my last visit, my family was there for ten days. In Quebec. Did you know that some parts of Quebec are entirely French, like Troi-Rivieres? I didn't, so I spent that whole trip learning/perfecting VERY basic French, so there will be some brillant displays of my French skills! 

Book: Belle Epoque by Elizabeth Ross
Bookdictive Categorization: YA (historical fiction)
Rating: 5/5 stars!!!!!!!!!!
Procurement: Amazon Kindle download
Recommend? If yes, to whom?: ANYONE AND EVERYONE. Well, at least those that read YA. ;)
VIVE LA FRANCE
I was terrified that I was going to start 2014 off with a DNF (Did Not Finish) but thankfully, the lovely Tt over at Never-Ending Stories asked if I wanted to read Belle Epoque as a buddy read, and thank goodness she did! To make up for those two DNF's I had at the end of December/continuing into early January, I (unknowingly) read a five star book! 

Belle Epoque is not fantasy. It is not terribly romantic (though romance is involved). It involves the French, whose culture I'm fond of but not so much the people. Nothing magical, nothing mythical, just historical. Pas de probleme though! Belle Epoque is well-written, researched, and bookdictive. But I had to take a step back and ask myself WHY was this book so bookdictive? 
Well for starters, I loved being able to read about a character who isn't classically pretty, and through no magical transformation does she become pretty. That's not to say she wouldn't be pretty now (makeup/our general acceptance of "different" types of beauty) but for this, no, she's not pretty. She is, in fact, a repoussoir, which is basically an ugly woman hired to make a pretty girl look even prettier! 
But hey, she's basically the BEST of the uglies, and "she" refers to the MC, Maude Pichon. Maude is a lot like Pretty Woman (I've been referring to Julia Roberts' character as 'Pretty Woman' for as long as I can remember, even though it's one of my favorite movies), the story of a hooker with a soul of gold. She's a bit hard to stomach on the outside, but inside, she's got a good heart even if she's a bit rough around the edges. 
Belle Epoque reminded me a little bit of Bright Young Things by Anna Godbersen. Classic girl hates life, leaves small town to escape abusive/jerk face dad/husband/boyfriend/whatevs and goes balls-to-the-wall by choosing a HUGE city. In Belle Epoque, it's Paris. That was a first! The book takes place around when the Eiffel Tower is being built, which I knew nothing about. It was so cool to read about something that I've always been annoyed with (I HATE when I think something is cute and then I see it has the stupid Eiffel Tower plastered all over it) and actually stay interested. 

I think Paris is super overdone when it comes to pop culture (HIPSTER ALERT HIPSTER ALERT!! I'm so sorry), but Belle Epoque presents it in a way that has a certain je ne sais quoi to it. 
The charming streets, the descriptions of food, the struggling musician/romantic interest, and the events like going to the opera are c'est magnifique! The descriptions truly captivated me, forcing me to keep reading even though I greatly wanted to pace myself.
But okay, if you're a follower of my blog, I can see how the underwhelming romance and lack of mysticism could leave you asking, "...what else is there?" 
Sorry, couldn't resist!

Don't hate me, but it's the friendship between the Countess' daughter Isabelle and Maude. I AM SO SORRY, BUT YES, WHAT MAKES THIS BOOK SO GOOD IS THE FRIENDSHIP!
Like, how boring, I know. Let me just make it worse with this additional bonus: On top of the wonderful friendship, the MORAL OF THE STORY JUST MAKES THIS BOOK EVEN BETTER!
I've lost you, oui? Hopefully not! 
Assuming you are still following my blog, just read this quote from Belle Epoque and tell me that it doesn't resonate with you in some way: 
"...the beauty of a soul, that inner life that reveals itself so seldom, just for an instant, and only if you look closely and learn to see with an open heart."
Haven't we all felt hideous at one point or another?? (or at three points, four points, a million points...)
And then haven't we wished that there was a reason why we were born "hideous"? Just letting you know, you're NOT hideous, but that's not the important part. The whole point of Belle Epoque is, yes, a good story with fantastic descriptions and YA appeal, but more importantly, it's about INNER BEAUTY winning out over OUTER BEAUTY.
I will not spoil this book, but the ending is so sweet and perfect that you'll be glad you read this. The characters come full circle and UGH, I'd love to spoil it, but alas I cannot! Zut alors

Go read this, please, and for the love of brie and baguettes buy some French food to eat whilst you read it. You'll be glad you did. 


Saturday, January 4, 2014

SALT by Danielle Ellison

Oy vey. My cholesterol is too high from so much SALT. one thing salt can do is make you bloated and sluggish. If you're addicted to French fries like me, then you know that while they just look and smell so tantalizing, nice and warm and salty...mmmm--but then you cram them in your mouth and feel like you have to go and take a nap because you're moving at the pace of a hybrid sloth-snail.


That's what salt does to you.
And yes, I also mean SALT.

Book: SALT by Danielle Ellison
Bookdictive Categorization: YA urban fantasy 
Rating: 2/5 stars
Procurement: Netgalley ARC
Recommend? If yes, to whom?: No, I wouldn't recommend it, at least to other bloggers/avid readers. It's extremely fluffy.

Precursor very quickly: This is a gorgeous cover. I said it when I did the cover reveal for it and I'll say it again, there is just something about it that draws me in. LOVE it.  

I wanted to like this. Truly, I did. I was addicted at the very beginning. World building seemed a tad flawed, especially since I've been to DC and the area that SALT takes place in seemed more like where Hey Arnold lived (Bronx?). But this sassy heroine, lighthearted and contrary? My favorite brand of heroine! Order up a side of Penelope fries and call me content because I LOVE my heroines sassy and contrary, that's what makes them badasses! 
But then...Penelope slowly starts looking a little less badass.
Okay, let me explain. Penelope is a witch that has no powers. A demon stole them, and killed her parents, when she was nine, forcing her and her twin Connie to live with their grandparents.
First little flaw right there: She's a witch but she's a demon hunter called an Enforcer. Sort of. She's actually not a demon-slaying Enforcer just yet, and the majority of the novel is actually focused on her trying to pass the test while not having magic. Okay, so not exactly what I thought this book would be about, but I pressed on.
Then Carter was introduced. It was blatantly obvious that he was the love interest, which ruled out the possibility of a DTL (Death Triangle of Lurve for you noobs) since her guy bff is gay and there are no other guys introduced. I should be happy, right? WRONG. I was not happy, ugh, this was probably one of the more zzzzz-worthy romances in YA that I've come across.
So. Tepid. The make-out descriptions were chaste, and don't go assuming I'm some lusty book slut. Most YA builds on the internal romance, going straight for the heart and the feels. But their chemistry was so lackluster that the making out seemed bland. Carter is too perfect--tortured past involving his parent, a slight air of mystery (not a lot though, it was INCREDIBLY easy to predict what was going to happen to his story arc), and HAWT according to the other characters. Then there's all this stupid focus on the mushy hand-holding and going out with Ric and Penelope's sister Connie and her boyfriend. YAWN. Like Ric wants to be the fifth wheel in your tepid romance? No thanks. 

With the romance boring me, that pretty much left me with the "action." Here's the equivalent of the excitement generated by all the action scenes, as depicted in the gif below.
Thrilling. Everything came so EASILY for a basic witch who was missing her powers. Because she relied on Carter or her family members to pull magic from, this made her all-powerful so every single enemy gets comically decimated and accompanied by omg-this-cheese punchlines. It's like a One Saturday Morning Disney cartoon: "The moral of the story is: Good always wins, and you'll get the guy." I'm not begging for a happy ending by any means, but there was no climax to this book, so I needed SOMETHING at the end, and there wasn't anything. The final battle scene? Yeah, okay, that was not a battle deserving the title of "final battle." 
Lastly, what pissed me off the most was the lack of magic. I could have forgiven ALL of this if there had been some sort of magic spell learning. Something, anything, just not this repeated attack where you either throw salt or you make them explode. Cool, you're a badass, I get it, now go make some potions or find an ancient spell book if you're going to be labeled as a witch. There's really not a lot of witchcraft in here, and I think the book could have gone slightly better if there had been the creation of a different type of race of magic-abled people. 
In the end, the only redeeming qualities were the writing, which I thought was pretty good for a first-time author. I liked the voice of Penelope for the most part. But that's about it. It's not a memorable book. Basic witches to the back, now bring me my French fries! 



***an electronic ARC of this book was provided to me through Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review, and in no way reflects anything beyond my gif-induced beliefs***


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